Thursday, April 30, 2020

Remembering the Good

Hi Friends,

It’s funny what a person will remember about someone after they leave this earth.  It’s been slightly over one week since my sis-in-law, Denise had of change of address from here on earth to heaven.
It seems almost like a lifetime since last Tuesday and then I realize it’s only been 9 days but I feel like my heart and soul has traveled hundreds of miles and saw and felt so much.

There have been gut wrenching moments but mostly what I see both for myself and for my brother, Barry is the kindness that have been bestowed upon him. Things like the restaurant owner who sent her folk’s over to Barry’s home with his fav item from their menu, just in time for dinner (Jill, Ralph & Mary you are the best!). Or the carefully prepared soup that is tailored around Barry’s food allergies by dear friend, Lisa.  Or the buddy who dropped by with beer and a willingness to lend his ear and have a nice chat. Family and friends have stepped up and have wrapped Barry in a cloke of love and care. And that makes big sis very happy.  I have also been included by family & friends reaching out to send cards, touch base by calls, texts, a yummy baked goodie left on my kitchen counter by friend Vicki, and a therapeutic walk outside with Jacie.  We may be socially distancing physically, but not mentally.

I have been witness to incredibly beautiful moments, like the night after Denise’s passing, when my other  brother, Doug, sis-in-law Edie, and I had an impromptu dinner together at Barry’s home. It just felt so right and so good to connect, it was the needed balm for wounded hearts.  Or the day I sat with Barry as he was making funeral arrangements and while he was looking at urns, that he stopped, looked at me and the guy at the funeral home and says,  “there is this special wood at a local supplier that a fungus in the wood made a unique pattern. And Denise had loved that wood and had wanted something made out of it, but she didn’t know what.”  Barry said he was going to make the urn out of that wood for her.  It was the most touching and sweetest final act of his love for his wife.  It was so incredibly beautiful. And I said that it was absolutely the most perfect way to honor Denise.

The thing that stands out about Denise is that she held her faith and loved ones very close to her heart.  She was devoted to God, her family and her circle of friends and cherished them like nobody’s business.  You knew where you stood with her, she was generous to a fault and lived life in a bigger than normal fashion. RIP my dear friend and sis-in-law, Denise. Forever loved, forever missed.

And while none of us are perfect and that we may drive each other crazy with our idiosyncrasies - what I have love is that we all honor the wonderful qualities of that person that is no longer here.  The good rises up and the faults float down.  I need to remember to do that more with those that are living in the here and now.  Focus only on the positive qualities, yup that’s the plan.

As always thanks for stopping by and make sure to let those beautiful people in your life know how much you cherish them.  Xoxoxo   Gayle


  1. I'm sorry for your loss. I think the pandemic makes these times even more difficult because of the restrictions that crowd size makes on memorial services. My best to you and your family.

  2. Thank you Kim. =) Blessing to you and yours. Gayle