I write because I like to write. Sometimes it’s because
words need to surface, other times it just makes me happy putting thoughts down
on paper.
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| Me in my happy place |
I am a “caretaker” of people and things. It seems like I am
always tending something. And I realized
I needed tending to as well. After I had entered single-hood five years ago, it forced
me to begin the journey of self-care. At first I wasn’t so great at it, but I
started getting better at understanding
what was good for me. I realized
I hadn’t respected my body or soul and that I was always putting others first,
and neglecting me. Heck if I would have
just listened to the airlines during their safety instructions and took that to
heart when they say “put your air mask on first before you help others”…. I may
have saved myself some time…. But I”ve always been a slow learner as well as a slow bloomer. Lol… oh
well.
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| I do love playing outside |
Here is what I have learned. I am an “outgoing introvert”. I love being around people, doing things
socially, and my love language is “act of service” but I relish my alone time.
That is what recharges this girl’s batteries, quiet time. And I have to balance it with my urge for
helping others. That is the tricky
part. And how I spend my moments in the recharge
mode is dictated by the weather. Time spent
outdoors enjoying the beauty of the Palouse or puttering about indoors in the
cozy confines of my farmhouse is pure bliss. I have finally felt that it was
okay to give myself permission to not feel guilty when I just need my own space
and set boundaries. You would think coming from a life where I spent a good
part of it in the Ag industry, that it would dawn on me self-care is exactly
like taking care of the crops. In order
to grow and prosper, you have to have the essential elements. I guess sometimes
when you are down in the trenches that you forget to look up. When I look at other amazing women that I
know, I wonder if they have or had the same struggles that I did. Maybe it’s a conversation
among us that I need to start.
This week I took care of my mom after her surgery. She says
she is independent but I see her getting frail in body despite her strong
spirit. I wash her hair and she
smiles. She is recovering from a hand
surgery and doesn’t like to admit she has to rely on help from family and has
dubbed me “sergeant”. I’m afraid that
nickname may stick.
And since I’ve been able to take care of me, my internal
happy season is in full bloom. When I
choose to help others, it is because I am willing to do it, not because I felt
I had to do it. My move to a new home in
a new town has been just what I needed.
Life has a funny way to putting certain people in your life to help you
learn as you go. I am grateful and even
thankful for the good and hard lessons that came about. It got me here, a place where I need to
be. I took another chance on love and
found a contentment that I haven’t ever felt before. And I think certain, people, places, events
had to take place to help me understand and appreciate what and who is in my
life.
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| This is the room where the "cozy thoughts and conversations" will happen |
As I see the first of the leaves around my place start to turn yellow and red, I see the season of cozy warm sweater time starting. And that will most likely prompt more heart and soul kinds of conversations and thoughts. I’d love to hear your thought too and you can always reach out and say hi at swheatfarmlife@gmail.com or leave a comment on the blog.
So ole “sergeant” is here to tell you, if you aren’t
respecting your body and soul, please be gentle with yourself and start those
steps, even if they are baby steps to be good to you. You deserve it, trust me
on that one.
As always, thank you for stopping by. All my best, Gayle
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