Forever a Beautiful Soul - Denise

A beautiful set set on a sad day 

With a heavy heart I learned that my dear sister-in-law, Denise passed away on this bright, warm and sunny day.  And the thought that registered was that the day she passed away was just like her personality, bright, warm and sunny. She was one of those people who lived a vibrant life.  She had a heart bigger than Texas and as my youngest daughter said, it is hard to believe she is gone, as she was always here for us.

And it’s true, Denise was generous to a fault.  I remember the kindness she showed me during some of my very darkest days seven years ago.  She was one of my “go to” people and I shall forever be grateful for her light on a dark pathway. When you have  a larger than life personality it leaves a big hole for those of us left here on earth.  I know she is now in heaven as she had a faith that was beautiful. She made life for so many beautiful with her wit and laughter coupled with a sinere love of those she held near and dear.

Last Thursday, she had been on my mind, so I baked her favorite lemon scones, picked some fragrant yellow daffodils and texted her that I felt she needed some sunshine and was going to drop them off.  So I took them over, stayed 6’ feet away and she had said she wished she could hug me and I said I did too.  That was the last time I saw her. It was a good memory.

Today as I was helping my brother get the word out, I had called a long time friend who had said that Denise had been on her mind and she had been wanting to send out her a card. I could hear regrets and knowing that she wished she would have sent the card.

I just returned from having dinner with my brother and mom.  Numbness tinged with shock is where we are right now.    I poured a glass of wine, light a fire even though it’s a bit too warm for one, I wanted the comfort.  I put on Mercy Me on my Bose and let the words fall out.

As we as a family will  group tightly together because that is just what we do.  The out pouring of words from so many fill the air and it’s comforting to know that Denise was loved.  Tomorrow, our new normal without our beloved sis-in-law will be the reality. I know that road and it’s hard. I will be there for my brother and niece. We all will, that is the beautify of family.  And slowly the tears will dry and we will get on with the everyday living.  It once again makes me realize that life is so very precious and that we truly only have today.  It reaffirms to listen to that small voice when it says you should reach out to that special someone. And as my good friend, Sondra said, grief is the price we pay for love.  And I am forever a better person knowing my dear Denise who was loving, caring, funny and had the best way of kicking you in the back-end when you needed it.  I will miss her.

So please hold those close to you and let them know you adore them. Take the time to see them as it may be the last time. I know I never want to have regrets so I’m going to work extra hard to ensure those I love know that .  So I’ll close as my head hurts, my eyes are beyond tired and my soul is bruised.  Death is a hard road bump in life and I need to be strong to help my family.  Take care and say a prayer for us and also say a prayer to keep you and yours safe and healthy. All my best, Gayle