Words and a Masterpiece of Life

Last night's sunset was a glorious color that took my breath away

Hello friends

I’ve neglected my blog a bit and it’s not that I forgot about writing to you, it is just the opposite, as you are on my mind a lot and I’ve felt guilty…..  To explain my absence, I’ve been focusing on getting a solid start on a book that I’m working on which is about the art of healing and lessons 101 of creating a new life. I finally reached a point where I feel I’m ready to open up that part of my life, plus I’ve been feeling the nudging by a higher power.  To be honest, it has been brutally hard going back to a dark time in my life, and I tried two times before in the last five years to begin, but I quickly found I wasn’t ready. Both times threw me into a depression, so I’ve been a bit tentative as I have begun forging forward on the book. My idea of the ideal writing time was over the winter months, all cozied up to the fireplace, but I found that I have to balance it with what energizes and restores my sanity, which is being outside and playing in the dirt.  And the last few random days of sun and warm temps have been good for this farm-chick.  So when the words begin to flow, I have to decide where do they fit? A start for a Home and Harvest article, this blog or the book?  Imagine words swirling around like smoke and each story concept has a specific direction, so random notes, thoughts and ideas get sorted as best I can.  Of course, ideally, I would love to write full time, but it’s that pesky thing about wages and medical benefits and working full time off the farm which dominate my days for the time being.  Having three on-going writing projects keeps me up at night.

All I know is that today is all I have and I need to connect more with you as it honestly helps me connect more with me.  I think I need to just jot down a few words, add in a few pictures and share the world as I see it in a more simple way. And when the long heartfelt blogs need posting, well it won’t be so long between times.

Tonight I learned an acquaintance that I knew from attending one of the very first Dinner on the Farm events a few years ago  had passed away.  Nels was a kind man who had applied to be a guest as he wanted to understand how wheat was grown and connect to the farmer.  From that experience he took that knowledge back to his new business venture, Panhandle Artisan Bakery and fabulous as well as tasty works of art became a mainstay in stores and the farmer’s market.  I remember him talking about surviving his first year in business and he was jubilant about continuing the second year. 

Seriously, nothing warms this girl’s heart more than to see someone make their dreams come true and create their success story.   It also makes me once again realize that our life here on earth has an expiration date known only to God, and that we need to cherish each day as it is precious and meant to be lived fully.

RIP Nels - You will be missed

And as I close, I want to repeat my words from the article in  last Home andHarvest Magazine, live your passion, do what makes you happy. Even if it isn’t full time, it still can fill up your heart and soul.  Write your own success story, your masterpiece awaits and you are worth it.

Till the next time we meet, take care.  If you want to share what your masterpiece from your life is, well I’m just a click away at www.swheatfarmlife,net , and I’d love to hear from you.  All my best, Gayle

From the Dark Arose Compassion & Grace

This morning seeing the sun shining on a fresh dusting of snow and just as I looked out at this view, the song "Morning has Broken" by Third Day was playing.... pure magic

Sometimes when something hits close to home, it is a good reminder to be thankful for the beautiful day and enjoy it with those you love. And with that...

I remember being on a tour of the Lewis & Clark Caverns in Montana several years ago and during the tour,  the  guide turned off the light, and we were pitched into complete and total darkness.  And that image of darkness flashed into my head when I read the sad news of the WSU Quarterback, Tyler Hilinski who took his life at age 21.  Although I didn’t know this young man, it looked like he was living the dream with a bright future ahead of him.  All I can imagine is that in his mind, a black abyss was all around him.  While I’ve had dark days, they were never to that point, but I have been part of a suicide aftermath in our own family and my heart understands what his parents are going through.   And it can only be described as having your personal life destroyed by a tornado of grief and remnants of life and memories are strewn about in fragments.   My heart breaks for Tyler’s family and friends or anyone else’s for that matter who are left in the wake of grief.  I want to share a text number that I saw about a free service for those depressed or suicidal. Text 741741 and a crisis worker will text back.  My heartfelt thoughts go out to all who experience this type of depression and plead they reach out for help to escape that black hole.

One thing for certain, or at least for me, is that after going through something like that, I gained more appreciation of life.  I realize how fragile life can be and that each day isn’t a given, rather a gift to enjoy.   As hard as I try, sometimes I don’t relish my gift of a day or use it wisely, but almost always I’ll experience some kind of beauty whether in the form of a sweet gesture, smile or act, or simply enjoying a beautiful sunrise or sunset. I also realize the value of time spent with my loved ones and that I need to keep a firm grip on my self-imposed busyness. Far too often I've let my task driven focus rob me of enjoying that time with my people. Another reason to try to live mindfully, Another reason to move quality time with others on the top of my to-do list.
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Cakes in the making

And with that, this week-end two of the three grand-angels have January birthdays, and we as a family, have always celebrated each other and another year of being together.  So the sweeties and I baked cakes .... it was a gooey sticky mess of a kitchen afterward, but sweet memories were made.

Miss B, Mss M with their beautiful mamma, Jen. Brother Barry, sis-in-law Denise, and Grandpa Tim

And those who were able to make it for dinner at my place gathered to celebrate these wonderful little lives. And on the menu? The kiddos also choose the main course.. which is lasagna and also meatless lentil chili. And, as we gather around the dinner table to enjoy the meal, I said a silent prayer for another year together.


Bday dinner 2018, part 2

Of course in true fashion, I awoke in the wee hours to put the blog together to share. For some reason it doesn't feel complete....and I'm not sure why... but I'll imagine that more quality time with the laptop will be happening as the words start to flow again.

I wish you a great week ahead, and hope you can spend some quality time with your peeps.  =)

All my best Gayle

The light shines in the darkness and the darkness has not overcome it.  John 1:5

A gorgeous sunset. A hope at the end of each day that it was lived with purpose, joy and grace.

Living Mindfully

Living mindfully are the two words that I awoke to ….  precisely at 2:09am this morning. Ugh.....  And while at the time I didn’t know what they meant, I just wrote them down and tried to go back to sleep.

The last couple of nights I’ve been restless in sleep and my taste in music seems to somehow intuitively sense a story that was in the making.  And so tonight I put on Rascal Flatts as this band has such powerful lyrics that permeates my soul, poured myself a glass of wine and opened the laptop.  

While I never exactly know what words are going to start pouring out, I had an inkling that the beginnings of a story had started last week when I attended a women’s wine night at Adrian’s house, which just so happened to be my folk’s old house. While the house itself wasn’t where I grew up, it was where I learned about true family love and fun.  The house was where I transitioned from being a single young woman, to being married, then becoming a mom, and then becoming a grandmother myself. That house has seen so much, it’s almost like it’s a diary. It was a  place that was safe, even magical for me for so many years. And when the wine night invite came, I was nervous to attend, as I didn’t know where I would be on the emotional scale.  But the event was held in the new shop so it was a neutral spot, but I asked permission to take a peek inside the house.  And surprisingly, the interior was almost the same as when mom left to begin her new life after leaving  “The Ranch House”. The place was sold furnished and the new owners had kept almost everything the same and I almost felt like I’d see my step-dad walking into the kitchen to grab his favorite snack, raw onions and a hunk of cheese.  The memories of holidays and countless hours of pure family fun crept in and it made me smile.  One of my favorite memories was when I was eight months pregnant with Jennifer, my oldest and it was December.  My mom, step-dad and I had spent the better part of a Saturday making Christmas decorations from fabric in the shapes of trees and bells that we  sewed and then stuffed. Today I still have all those ornaments and they are as special now as they were back then.

And the term “living mindfully” made sense as today I read one of the most heart wrenching but beautiful obits from a young woman whose life was cut short by cancer. Her words were powerful about living life to the fullest, making memories and not sweating the small stuff. She cautioned to not collect stuff, but rather collect cherished memories by truly living.  Her words were hauntingly beautiful.  And the memory of witnessing the last rights being given to my step-dad floated up.    I remember sitting in the hospital room and thought to myself that when you get to that stage of life, that all you have are the memories. Material stuff isn’t important, it’s the memories that are the precious keepsakes. And as I begin this new year, in a new farmhouse in a new town, I’ve started making the storyboard of a beautiful life.  In the short 10 months that I’ve lived here, I’ve hosted 3 work events, a neighborhood get to know you party,  a Christmas gathering of family friends as well as Christmas itself. My sweetheart and I have spent some cozy evenings together with many more in the works.   And I can see where more gatherings are on the horizon when I gather family and friends to celebrate life here in my little piece of heaven on earth.  And for me, the everyday goal will be to enjoy the beautiful moments of each day and live that day as if it were my last.

And as I close,  it is a privilege to me that you stopped by. I hope that somewhere in these words and the emotions that get poured out in the blog, that you will find a way for you to live mindfully in a way that makes your heart and soul sing. 

As always, nothing warms this girl’s heart more than comments if this particular blog resonated to you.  Feel free to leave a comment on FB page for S-Wheatfarmlife or post a comment on the blog.

All my best, Gayle

Here are some photos found and I had to take a picture of the picture.... so please forgive the poor images

My sweet step-dad holding  the new grand-baby. He was terrified of holding babies
RIP Grandpa Doug  11-30-2011

Winter fun on the farm hills. The  Ranch House is in the back

Summer fun during one of our crazy croquette games at the ranch

Horse fun with mom, daughter Jen and my step-dad